A Christmas lifehack

Wait until the post-Christmas clearance sale to buy that sweet mug you really want from Starbucks.

I like 'em round and big.

My biggest Christmas revelation: apparently I've been given a second nickname by certain family members. It's a bit of a head scratcher because, while I certainly appreciate a large posterior - scout's honor! - I'm decidedly a breast man. Weird.

December 26th, morning.

Get behind me, Santa!

Micah: 0, Winter weight: 1

MILF on the Shelf: Day 25

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I like carols you've never even heard of.

I've always enjoyed carols' third and fourth verses, which tend to get less mainstream airplay. Does that make me a Christmas hipster?

Aaaaaaaaand Santa!

Why did no one ever tell me that Dave Foley of the Kids in the Hall (and NewsRadio!) once put a Christmas special? I just found out about Dave Foley's The True Meaning of Christmas Specials today when the KITH Facebook page posted an article about it. I gave it a watch and it's funny! And if you've got a hankering to see some KITH and SCTV alums, Mike Myers, and a bunch of other notable Canucks, it's essential viewing.

MILF on the Shelf: Day 24

You sit on a throne of lies, MILF.

MILF on the Shelf: Day 23

That must have been some kind of doll, MILF. Happy Festivus!

A Very Micah Christmas: Day 22

Wrong season, MILF!

Do not put this on your flapjacks.

Heads up, millenials. Cracker Barrel has gotten into the hipster vinyl game *and* they have exclusive gimmicks.

MILF on the Shelf: Day 21

Um, I don't think that's going to sit well, MILF.

I'm hung.

No self-respecting southerner uses instant grits *or* hangs an evergreen wreath. After years of wanting one, I finally have a magnolia wreath to greet all the merrymakers that show up at my doorstep. My friend Suzanne made it for me and only asked for a bottle of prosecco. (A self-respecting southerner would've requested a bottle of Old Crow.)

MILF on the Shelf: Day 20

You found last year's tannenbaum, MILF! Hmmm. It's going to take a *lot* of love to bring that thing back.

MILF on the Shelf: Day 19

Are you thinking Arby's, MILF? Specifically an eggnog shake?

MILF on the Shelf: Day 18

Swipe right, MILF!

Put a candy cane in that appletini.

I commemorate the holiday season each year by purchasing a new ornament. A few weeks ago I was perusing World of Mirth's wares when I saw... a Zach Braff Christmas ornament. Why does this exist?! Who would sell such a thing, let alone make it? At once I knew that it had to be this year's ornament. Now I just wish there was one of Brown Bear I could hang up next to it.

MILF on the Shelf: Day 17

Live long and phone home, MILF!

MILF on the Shelf: Day 16

That ramen looks like it would pair well with an eggnog-asaki, MILF.

This year's model

MILF on the Shelf: Day 15

*ALL* the bacon and eggs I have, MILF?

MILF on the Shelf: Day 14

Don't let him steal your breath as you sleep, MILF.

MILF on the Shelf: Day 13

Death or glory becomes just another story, doesn't it, MILF?

MILF on the Shelf: Day 12

L'Chaim, MILF! Enjoy that potato pancake.

MILF on the Shelf: Day 11

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MILF on the Shelf: Day 10

Thanks for the W, MILF!

It's electric. Boogie woogie woogie!

I'd say that the Tacky Light Run is my favorite race of the year except a) due to the throngs of gawkers (myself included) it's impossible to run the thing, and b) it's not really a race. Still, I look forward to this more than any other "running" event. And this year it snowed!

MILF on the Shelf: Day 9

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MILF on the Shelf: Day 8

Don't worry, MILF. Her bark is way worse than her bite.

MILF on the Shelf: Day 7

Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders. Navy beans, navy beans. Meatloaf sandwich!

MILF on the Shelf: Day 6

You're all up on my (laundry) balls, MILF!

MILF on the Shelf: Day 5

Happy Krampusnacht! I hope you were a good MILF this year.

MILF on the Shelf: Day 4

You there, MILF! Fill it up with petroleum distillate and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste!

MILF on the Shelf: Day 3

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Happy Krampusnacht (observed)!

MILF on the Shelf: Day 2

Thanks for blowing on the dice, MILF! I won $5 to the company canteen! Which I will probably never spend!

MILF on the Shelf: Day 1

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